307. "God is trying to teach me something." This is what I said to the Husband today when I came home from Ladies Bible Study. I know what He wants me to learn.... I just keep regressing. Why is that? Why is it so hard to change? I could say it's because I'm 60 years old and I'm too old to learn new... but, I was this hard to teach while in my 20's. 30's. 40's. 50's. (sigh) I just need to get over myself. I had no idea going from being the minister's wife to a normal church member would be so hard. I KNOW... crazy isn't it. I just need to get over myself.
308. Watching the news reports of tragedies like the Boston Marathon, Newtown, 9 11, Murrah Building, and on and on. It's hard to watch our world spiral downward. I pray, I cry, I'm ashamed to say I'm not as shocked by these atrocities as I once was. I heard a newswoman say just last week "This type of news has become the normal." I pray to my God that none of this becomes normal to me, to my heart. I want what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable to be the normal. Surely, even a non-believer can look at these characteristics and see how this type of normal world would be much better.
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| Murrah Building April 19, 1995 |
309. I have an expectation of myself. I want to be kind. But sometimes my mouth opens and out comes these words that are anything but kind. I continually ask God to cleanse my heart, my mouth, my life - to be what He expects me to be.
Search me, O God, and know my heart today;
Try me, O Savior, Know my thoughts I pray.
See if there be some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from every sin and set me free.
J. Edwin Orr
This first verse of "Cleanse Me" is a perfect prayer for me.
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